urgency

I made an emergency trip back home tonight. My grandmother suffered a stroke early December and has been fighting for her life ever since. Last night, nurses started giving her doses of morphine for the sake of easing her pain. She's resting calmly now. But, we all know the morphine will eventually take its toll. It's all a matter of time now.

For the past two months, I found myself dedicating my art to my grandmother and the rest of my family. I'll admit none of them really understand my choice in going into the art field; however, neither do I. This is the reason I have a sense of urgency to really study myself as a person/artist. Why do I think the way I do? Why do I act the way I do? Why am I investing so much time into art that has so many gray areas?

I love art, but only when I'm allowed to express myself the way I want to.